The following is from way back in 7th grade for an english class assignment, as my exploration of bad junior high writing starts... (modern comments where I mock my 7th grade self highlighted in parenthesis)

09/03/1991:

The earliest memory that I have is when I was real little (like I wasn't still real little in 7th grade but it is all about perspective I suppose.) and my dad got me up to get pancakes. (Odd that I would write about my dad in 7th grade, since he and my mom got divorced when I was five and I probably hadn't seen him in a couple of years at that point...) He used to do this every ounce (Ounce? Ounce of pain this piece of writing me thinks) and a while. He would get up and get ready. Then he would get me up and I would get ready. (The detail here is what holds the reader riveted.) I would shake my brother to get up but he wouldn't so I always called him sleepy head. (And I was young and actually liked getting up early. Yeah...not sure what was wrong with me...)

When my dad and I got to the place we would sit in the same seats and I would always order pancakes because of their great taste. (They were good...and they also had Vanilla Coke before it was a product, they added the vanilla and I used to get that sometimes...) After I ate my pancakes my dad would give me a quarter for a video game. (Pac-Man was the main one there, I would become a ninja Pac-Man player as I grew up. Sadly this ability doesn't translate to making huge amounts of money in any way...)

On the way home we would drive over a hill which on the way down would make me giggle. (Like a little school girl?)It felt weird because it was almost straight down. (weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)

When we got home my mom might be awake but my brother would still be asleep most of the time. When my brother got up we would call him sleepy head and tell him about it. (What a wonderful memory. Although that really isn't my first memory and I don't think it was my first memory when I wrote it. I think I just picked one at random...)

Teacher Comments: Nice memory! (Thanks, now if only I could remember that teacher's name....)

Okay, we hate to ask, but... over the roll or under the roll?  

OVER! When I'm supreme ruler of the earth there shall be no other way.

I've said too much.

How do you take your tea or coffee?

Submitted by Vasquez.

I usually like my coffee straight black and first thing in the morning. Otherwise I will be a walking zombie.

BRrrraaaiiiinnNNNNNnnnnnsssss!

A wind blows gently against my cheek
I will climb the mountain, finding the answers I seek

I am determined, for without them my heart will bleed
And so I gather all the materials I need

I set my first step, going toward the top
I am determined, I will never stop

I make my steady climb, fighting perilous conditions
My mind a haze searching for life's non-fictions

Never reaching the top and my answers are my only fears
And so weeks stretch to months stretch to years

I started out with great courage, with a soul so bold
Now I grow tired, and the burden almost causes me to fold

Just when I almost turn back and quit this seemingly endless journey
I finally touch heaven, for it is the top I see

I pull myself up, and searching across an old wise looking man I find
Tell me life's answers, I ask, and release me from this eternal bind

Oh my son, there are none, he begins with a tired sigh
And with tears, I came here for them too... was his reply

2006 Time Person Of The Year

I'm SO putting this on my resume.

As I sit here and open and close my new Sidekick case I wonder...Ahh, Velcro, where would we be without you? I believe we would all be in Detroit, but that's a personal belief. Back to the wonders of this amazing product however.....Velcro has revolutionized society, from sticking things on other things to sticking more things on more other things.

That is the way of the Velcro. But Velcro isn't just a generic name...oh no...it's a trademark name. A trademark name that sits in halls of the most prestigious of human accomplishments. So when you go and say that you need to buy a piece of Velcro, let me remind you that you are blasphemous to the trademark name! For now you know - you can't buy a piece of "velcro." But you can purchase all of the VELCRO brand hook and loop fasteners you need! And knowing is half the battle.

The present will be judged by future societies, not for how fast our computers were, how advanced our medical technology was, or even how we try to solve the earth's growing problems. It will be judged by our Velcro. So thank you Swiss inventor George de Mestral, and your little dog too, for without you there would be no Velcro...and everyone would live in Detroit.

The sun
Mixed with the sky
As if united as one
The snow on the ground
Silently sitting
Without a sound
The tree
With its so bare a limb
Outward it seems to lean
Yet, all of this I have not seen
To become free
                      is but to see
Past the blinding sun's rays
How many more days
Given the will of God and men
Until I see once again?

Please refrain from using a sudden loud emergency vehicle siren in your advertisement on the radio because IT IS BEYOND ANNOYING AND WHILE DRIVING MAKES ME THINK THERE IS A REAL EMERGENCY VEHICLE BEHIND ME PLUS MAKES ME HATE WHATEVER PRODUCT YOU ARE SELLING.

Thank you.

Perhaps "life" is composed of meaningful events that in reality are not meaningful at all. Follow me as I throw some random ideas against the wall.

If there was no time, an endless stream of events that lead nowhere, a state of perpetual existence, then any and all things that occurred have no real relevance, for they are free to occur twice, a million, or even an infinite number of times. Consequences therefore do not really exist, and souls that live forever entwine themselves in this mist of just being. How does one unlock this never ending grind of total control and unending power, where one can do anything at a mere thought but where it has no meaning and becomes boring and methodical even as one thinks it?

Perhaps this is the situation that God himself was in, and found that the only solution was to "pretend" that things were not forever. Essentially, God might want to create time and subject undying souls to a physical world where dying could exist. It is the very fact that things do not go on forever, that events only occur once in this temporary state, and.... people do not stay around forever that makes them meaningful. People die every day through accidents, murders, diseases, old age, and suicide. By creating a universe where things are temporary, God has allowed real existence at only the cost of pain.

While no one can deny pain as evil, it is perhaps a necessary evil, like the pain of remembering someone who has gone on, it is a reminder that the time we have been given is temporary and to appreciate the meaningful events and persons in our limited lives. While there is an obvious difference between right and wrong, would it really be an interesting story, the story of "life" itself, without evils and wrongs? Where would most stories be without the bad guy being outdone by the good guy? The bad guy creates the meaning for the good guys existence, and therefore has meaning unto himself. While not an excuse to do wrong unto another person, it does perhaps provide a view into why evils exist; they are in there own right as events, which arise to have meaning in any kind of temporary state. Why do bad things happen to good people? Because the very nature of having such things happen make the moments of good all the more special.

And so, take for instance someone who has had no real impact on the world, and has lived a lonely and solitary life dies an early death, perhaps it WAS meaningful in some kind of way because it was temporary. If a rose were around forever would they be as special? The rose dies however, and leaves behind memories such as how they are given, meaningful memories of its existence, and a reminder that things, events, and people...are all very temporary.

So have fun, it is all very temporary and therefore very meaningful.

Mighty eagle in the sky
Looking...
Looking with a powerful eye
Down...
Down you fly
With...
With a powerful cry
You pound...
Upon your prey
Who without a say
Now dead...
Now dead he lay
For now you've had your fun
For the mighty eagle...
For the mighty eagle has won